Ikea is selling its own beer at its retail stores in Britain, because manufacturing furniture, gross meatballs and entire suburbs wasn't enough to satisfy its Norse megalomania. They call the in-house beer Öl Mörk Lager, and so far the reviews match what people often say about Ikea furniture—they were pleasantly surprised. If it ever comes to American stores, I hope Ikea honors one of its trademarks by requiring drinkers to open each bottle with an Allen wrench.